DO WHAT YOU WANNA DO, GURL

Honest Reads

Jan 8

What is it that triggers us to think that we have to do it all, be it all, make it all? The amount of times we're told as women to:

Go to school.
Hold down a full-time job.
Don't wait too long to have babies.
Don't be be picky with men.
Keep your standards high.
Make it better.
Make it nicer.
Climb the corporate ladder.
Stay home, take care of your kids.
Follow your dreams.
Be realistic with your goals.
Be thin, get healthy.
Keep those curves, be thick like Beyonce.
Be original.
Blend in.
Speak your mind.
Don't be loud and distracting.

Wasn't that list completely exhausting? Yeah, I know.

Women I'm friends with, work with, exercise with, cry on couches with, shortly feel defeated + discouraged. We're surrounded by all these rules + regulations, guiding us to

that "perfect life" of having it all.

But, what really is having it all? Why isn't what we do, who we're with and how we will our perfect life? The comparison of other lives has got to die, don't you agree? I'm basically, fully, completely and totally over it. So, let's move forward shall we...

Stay focused.

Last year was the first time I ever allowed myself to share what I wanted to accomplish, to others outside of myself. It was the first time I held myself accountable for sharing out loud what my mission was, which helps me every day to be focused. I don't care what others are doing around me because I've got myself and my circle to keep me grounded, keep me mindful and keep me encouraged to move forward with my ideas, despite what everyone else is working on. Or accomplishing. Whatever it is that you could possibly think of to do, keep on your mission. Utilize your circle to create a supportive community to keep you on the right track.

Do what you want to do.

I'm sure people chime in on the things that you should be doing, whether it's about your job, your finances, your partner or where you're going to live... The chitchat suggestions never seem to quit. The one thing I learned about myself is I have to do exactly what I want. Otherwise, I feel useless and defeated and let down. I remember when I decided to not finish college, and just work. That experience taught me everything I knew about a strong work ethic. I wouldn't have that now if it weren't for listening to what was good for me, rather than listening to what everyone else thought was best. And, psstttt. Who doesn't have a $80,000 loan I would still be paying off had I stayed? Yeah. Me.

Keep up with yourself.

Make yourself your own competition. Allow your gains and losses to be your markers for your success. Keeping up with others in your market, whether it's other bloggers, other colleagues, other siblings or peers in your industry, is EXHAUSTING. No one path is the same. So, success is varied based on so many other principals than talent. Timing, strategic placement, money and opportunity... plus a bit of luck, all have something to do with it. Place your own little, saucy body at the finish line and let that be the goal. Duh.

Enjoy moments.

Man, if this isn't the most sound advice of all.. Nothing drives me more insane than watching myself be out of the moment. I've complained, on end, how I'm missing out, not aware and fully not understanding of why people are all off doing things when I realize, my head has been done in a laptop, phone or notebook for the past XYZ hours. So, easily said, enjoy moments. You'll never know how you'll get inspired. Like I did, April 2014.