You all have been asking. You all have been waiting. Well, fine. You're very fucking welcome.

Profresh Pizzas (#bam)

Ingredients: The kind of shit you can't live without that mixes well with garlic. Lots of it. I chose two styles of pizza: one with my homemade sauce (I'm Italian on the inside) and one without. Toppings for potato pizza: shallots, garlic (half a head, that's what she said), baby red potatoes, fresh or frozen corn and swiss gruyere. Yeah. Boy. Toppings for basic bitch pizza: my homemade sauce, fresh motzerella, fresh prima donna cheese, garlic olive oil and fresh sliced roma tomatoes Homemade sauce: keep that shit simple. San Marzano tomatoes (both crushed and diced), fresh basil, S&P, chili flakes, sweet white onion, 3/4 head of garlic, olive oil, a pinch of sugar


Layer all those bad boy ingredients. Bake in an oven, as per instructions on the damn packaging. Rocket science, I tell ya. Cut piping hot and sprinkle fresh cut cilantro. BANGIN'. Screw parsley, we keep it caliente up in this here kitchen.

Serve with some of your foodie crackhead besties, puppy not included.

Enjoy you little Betty Crocker/Rachael Ray wannabes. Just kidding. Or not. GET COOKING! (and subscribe.)