hearts vs vagina There's nothing I enjoy more when being courted than a man who has his shit together. I think most women will agree that a full time job, an apartment with working appliances and shower head and a mattress levitated from the ground (unless it's some cool, trendy bed… then, well, okay) make our heart happy and head conscious. But most times, men find the way to the vag, the coach, the honey pot, the sanctuary, the baby holder, the temple, the hot dog clamper, the hostess cupcake, the VAGINA because they got the "swag".

When you go on a date and you begin the courting process, you can only hope to be on the path of committed righteousness. It's one date, two dates.. maybe even three. You share some laughs, some common interests and maybe even the amount of siblings you both have. Cool. Yet, somewhere, somehow, you get caught in the crosshairs of swagdom. You let the man into your candy house. STUPID GIRL.

Alright. You're not stupid. If you're stupid, then I'm stupid. BUT falling for the swag game is one of the worst feelings in the world. And let me tell you, I'm a victim of this nation of men. Most recently, in fact. The story goes like this:

I meet boy. (Okay, I meet boy online. Whatever.) Boy digs me. I dig boy. We go on a casual date. Lasted 7 hours. We connect while I'm away for work by skyping the entire time I'm gone. (Bad idea ladies.) I fall for the game. Second date happens, I cook. (Another bad idea ladies.) Conversation gets deep. He sleeps over. (You know where this is going.)

And as the story goes, when you give the goodies up too soon, you might as well give him a credit card to slide in and out whenever he pleases. Too. Easy.

The lesson: Don't fall for the swag.

I've been single for the past three years but that being said, I wasn't keen on dating or the dating scene. But I started going on more dates since I moved to New York in hopes to find company as I feel/felt I was ready for another relationship. But what's the lesson always told: NEVER SEARCH FOR ANYONE. It will happen when it happens. Anyway, before the dating started-I was the game player. Didn't really give a fuck, did what I wanted and had the most fun I've had in my whole 25 years of living. So when the game was played on me and I fell for it, pshhhh. Home girl was shocked.

You may be asking yourself - Christina, girl, what does your sad, sad story have to do with me? I'm strong. I don't let the blindfold go over my eyes. I'm I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. ya heard? Yes, well, settle your little Destiny Child ass down. This story is to say that even single, strong,  I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. women fall for swag, women like me.

If there's one thing I've learned… keep the cookie in the jar. Keep your pantalones on until you've at least talked about about him not sticking it in any other jars. And there's strength in numbers. Tell your girlfriends, your mom, your best friend, your co-worker what's going on. Telling someone you trust gets you another clear opinion. But don't ask the entire population of women- you'll just get a cluttered response. And also, haters.

So keep that heart up top. That vagina can deal with daily doses by you and you only. If you want intimacy, watch Love Actually. Live through someone else's sexualness. I mean, just saying.

How's your dating life going? Hard times? Tell me about it. DUH.